You've probably heard this story before if we are close enough friends. I haven't felt comfortable telling just anyone because I understand how crazy it sounds. I'm afraid people will give me that look that you get when you say a voice told you to do something. What? You don't know this look? The UmmmmKay look?
I've got a couple of these "then I heard this voice say..." stories. They only come when I'm seeking something and waiting for an answer. I go on silent retreats for days to be able to tap into this voice when life gets really hairy. This one goes like this...
So there I was, in this salon waiting room, with my mom and sister waiting to get my hair done for my brother's wedding. Just a month before the startup company that I had spent the last 6 years building closed abruptly and I was deep in a midlife, what am I going to do now, crisis. I had given my all to this company and I ran the gamut of emotions that you feel with a life loss, bouncing from anger to depression to acceptance and back again. I had resolved to take the summer off and spend it with the boys and not even think about what my next bold move was going to be until I had fully mourned the bad breakup I had been through. I didn't need a rebound career. I'm just going to be single for awhile and find myself.
So sitting in this hard plastic chair, I had just zoned out a little. My mom and sister were talking next to me and I was staring at the wall. Being a bit of a tomboy, I can't say I've spent a lot of time in salons. I'm certainly not comfortable there; I don't color my hair, don't do my nails. This isn't my domain. I always considered it vain to spend time making myself look pretty, but sitting there it suddenly occurred to me that style is a form of artistic expression. (DUH, I know. I just never thought of it that way) So as I was contemplating this new found appreciation for the craft I suddenly felt the busy room get silent and this voice inside me screamed "THIS IS WHERE YOU ARE SUPPOSED TO BE"
WHAT? That doesn't even make any sense. What do you mean this is where I'm supposed to be? I am just getting a quick updo. Maybe have the chic slap on a smoky eye and some mascara so I look like I made an effort for the wedding pictures. About that time my sister interrupted my deep thoughts with a "Why are you making that face" I said I dunno, I think I'm going to go to beauty school. My mom looked at me like I was nuts, and was probably calculating how much that wasted Finance degree cost them. My sister leaned over to her and whispered "She's lost her shit" She was right.
After an hour of talking to this young, fresh out of school stylist while she created her art, the business side of my brain kicked in and I started calculating how much money there was to be made in this industry. By the time we left there I had texted 2 friends who owned salons (with the preface) "don't laugh, but.... I think I'm going to enroll in beauty school."
I met up with my hubby at the wedding and told him my plan and he seriously LOL'ed. You don't know how to work a flat iron and you are going to beauty school? But now the seed had been planted. I called the local cosmetology school on Monday and scheduled a visit. I watched way too many you tube makeup tutorials and familiarized myself with this store called ULTA. It's a totally overwhelming wearhouse size store with nothing but hair and makeup crap. Seriously, I had a panic attack the first time I went in there.
I don't know why that inner voiced screamed at me that way but when a message is that loud and clear, you don't ignore it. I wasn't sure if this was going to be the first chapter of my memoirs where I explain how I got my start or a cautionary tale of why you don't make important life decisions when you are are in the middle of a midlife crisis. Either way I was going to walk down this road a bit and really tap into that intuition, listen for the whispers (because the voice doesn't usually yell, unless it is super important) and see where it takes me.
What have I got to loose?